September 11, 2001

I was in Mrs. Boyce's 5th grade class at South Summit Elementary.

On September 11, 2001, Mrs. Boyce abruptly stopped her math lesson and turned on the TV, which was weird because that TV hardly ever came on. She didn't really say anything, and we just sat and watched.  We were a bunch of rowdy 5th graders, who couldn't sit still for the duration of the ABC's, and we just watched. In silence. All I could really comprehend is that there was a plane crash. And that everyone was silent.

I was mesmerized by the images on the TV when Mrs. Gines' tired voice came over the intercom. "Mrs. Boyce? Will you send Jenna to the office. She will be leaving at this time."

My teenage brother, who seemed like he didn't speak 10 words in the span of a day, met me out in the hall. Michael hugged me, for what seemed like an unusual amount of time for my reserved brother. He was with McKay, my younger brother, who was in second grade at the time. Michael simply said, "Dad is going to New York for awhile. We need to go home and spend some time as a family."

McKay and I had no idea what was going on, but we understood that it was a somber moment. All three of us were silent on the way home. It was cold and overcast that morning. The rain shouldn't have been that loud on the windshield. The wind shouldn't have been that strong. And for a reason that I did not yet comprehend, I started to cry.

When we got home, my Mom was sitting on the couch, quietly folding a pile of my Dad's work clothes and packing an unfamiliar red bag. The TV was apparently turned to the same channel we were watching at school because the same plane crash was being shown over and over again. My sweet Mom smiled at us, got up and gave us all a hug. "How was school this morning?"

What? How was school?! I started to cry again. I needed to know what was going on. Why was everyone so quiet? Why was there a plane crash? Why was my Dad going to New York for awhile? And why in the world was I crying? I remember thinking I had too many questions for a ten-year-old, but I needed to know.

My Mom brought me close to her, hugged me tight, and explained in the simplest terms that my Dad was going to New York because bad men did something horrible, and he had to go help. I was still confused, but now understood why I was crying. Something bad did happen. The next few days were not as clear as September 11, 2001, but this is were my understanding of the days and weeks following 9/11 may be a little different than yours.

My father is a member of the Utah Task Force One Team, Urban Search and Rescue (USR). He and his crew were deployed a short time after the attack on the towers. Once they arrived in New York, they were assigned to the night shift. Sleeping during the day, and working 12 hour shifts through the night. He worked tirelessly on what they called "The Pile." The awful ruble of steel, concrete, dirt, glass, and the remains of what used to be the Twin Towers. Maybe the hardest part of his job was searching for survivors. Or at that point, searching for closure for so many families. It must have been exhausting working on what seemed to be an endless pile of ruble. But I imagine it would have been more intense to deal with the pain and heartbreak of what the cleaning up really meant.

In addition to his USR responsibilities, my Dad was made Chaplain. Which in this case, he was a religious figure to many of the men and women at Ground Zero. He wasn't a priest, bishop, pastor, or a rabbi. He was just a good man. A God fearing man. The tired souls around him needed to know God was near after their shift on the pile. He spoke with men and women from around the country of their sorrows and grief. He did a lot of listening, praying and mourning. So you see, it wasn't a glorious job, to be working at Ground Zero. An honor, as my Dad has said, but not something to boast about.

My little self had limited knowledge of the gravity of the situation and what exactly my Dad was doing on Ground Zero. I knew that my Dad was in New York for his job, and I was scared and worried for his safety. I thought more than once, "What if the bad guys come back? What if they hurt the people cleaning up?" I also thought, "What if a big steal beam falls? What if another building collapses like the tall one on TV?" The most painful question I asked myself over the next couple weeks was, "What if my Dad doesn't come home either?" like so many other little girls' daddies and mommies. I hated watching the news. I hated talking about it. I wanted to fast forward to the day my Dad would step OFF the plane and come home from New York. Then I knew he would be safe.

Throughout those long days, I remember feeling a little selfish that I was so worried about my Dad. When in reality, my Dad was still alive, and he had the opportunity to help heal and clean the country in ways that many people could not. I continued to pray for him, while he was in New York, but at that moment, at only ten years old, I learned what it meant to be united. I felt the deepest heartbreak for families who had lost loved ones. My soul ached to the point of physical pain. A child's worry for her Daddy turned into compassion for her country.

I want to share what my father had to say today about his experience on September 11, 2001. Because really, he has said it best.

"A flood of memories has simultaneously made my soul ache in remembrance and my heart soar with pride as an American. The 10 days and nights I spent on that sacred, hallowed ground with Utah Task Force One -Urban Search and Rescue- on the "pile" changed my life forever. My heart goes out to the families and loved ones of all those lost on that day. Words cannot express the deep pride and honor I feel towards my fellow fighters and others as well who gave the supreme sacrifice in answering the final alarm of their service 12 years ago today. God bless this great nation and those that live in freedom under the stars and stripes that unite us as one as a nation. I, for one, will never forget the sacredness of this day."

 I am proud to be an American. God Bless the USA.

Dad & Michael. Firefighters and men of honor.
Photo Cred: Sister Kara. <3

Words of Wisdom.

This semester I was blessed to take all my classes from two of my favorite professors. Prof. Matt Barton & Prof. Ellen Treanor. They are incredible people and have heavily influenced my educational experience while in college. I don't think I will ever have enough words to thank them for all they have taught me. So instead, let me share with you their words of wisdom for a college grad.


Matt:
"Whatever you decide to do in life, do your best at it. Throw yourself into it. Be willing to commit to your work or whatever you are doing. Do it like you are the only one who can accomplish it. And remember, be persistent, not discouraged." 
He also shared a line from a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, "Be not dumb driven cattle. Be a hero in the strife." Which I love.


Ellen:
"How did you feel about it? What works? What didn't? And what would you change if you had the opportunity to do it again?" She is always pushing her students to be better, to always improve. But when I asked her what her advice would be, she simply said, "Never give up." She is a woman who has never given up, and quite frankly, never will. She can accomplish more in one day than I could in an entire week. And if she won't give up with all that is on her plate, I can definitely keep pushing through.


And something they both taught me, from Honest Abe, "Whatever you are, be a good one."

Frolicking Friends.

A haiku for my frolicking friends.

My frolicking friends

are majestic in their own

unique, special way.

P&B

did i ever imagine this moment? when i actually say goodbye? no.... just let me have this one sentence.
I just need to say that I am having a really really hard time saying goodbye to this part of my life and I am going to miss college, my friends, professors, this campus, the tiki shack, homework assignments, late nights in the ELC, SUUSA, SUU Athletics, my apartment, Gregory, Bailey, Whitney, my nomad groups of people, running up 'Le Hill,' bonfires, summer nights, hiking, the wind, the Bell Tower, the scheduling office, my coworkers, intramural sports, my coordinators and associate directors, my advisors, mentors, homecoming week, entertainers, the Living Room and Dining Hall, seeing Sharwan everyday, pick up soccer games, eating cereal and string cheese and granola bars, fruit dip, waking Whitto up every morning, being a college kid, living from pay check to pay check, picking up Bai from the school every night, watching White Collar all night every night in the summer, playing games till 2 AM, Thor the Thunderbird, FHE, doing the thunder train, getting a bread loaf from Chartwells, scheduling 20 hours a week, walking past President Benson, Provost Cook, or VP Donna Eddleman and having them say 'Hi Jenna,' watching a play every month, the Shakespeare Festival, hitting golf balls off of the C, midnight hikes, getting hugs from my favorite people all the time, SUU's Dancing with the Stars, ODK, the sassy attitude from Matt Barton, the COMM department, Krave, The Pastry Pub, the amazing Cedar City Community, parking in any parking lot that I want because of my TBird license plate, #ellentreanorquotes, the 'Lake' on the Hill, Discovery Park, late night drives to look at those houses, city league softball, True TBird Night, mud football, the dolphins by the library, our collection of movies that we've watched 2000 times, finals, the bowling alley, walking from the Hunter Conference Center to the Centrum back to the Hunter Conference Center every day, learning about Apologia, visits home because I was at school, visits from home, Spring Break, Christmas Break, the 500 Mexican restaurants, my Cedar City dentist, being a senior, the couch in my room, Zion National Park, Bryce Canyon, Kanarraville, Red Cliffs, camping, skinny dipping, temporary tattoos from Hermies, Cherrie Fresh Limes from Brad's, listening to my talented friends play the piano, guitar, uke, and sing, late nights, all nighters, study groups, retreats, being the girl at school who loved everything about SUU.

college has been really really kind to me. i'll miss all of this so much. thanks for the best times of my life. p&b. 
(peace & blessings)

Wednesday Pick Me Up.

Wednesday is HUMP DAY! Half way through the week. Yay. We all need a little pick-me-up now and then. Especially at this time of the year.

Today's 'Wednesday Pick Me Up' comes from the Canadian Huffington Post: Huffpost Living. You can check it out to see the whole article, but I'll share just a one liner for each of them. You're going to be excited about these 5 pick-me-ups that are 'absolutely free.'

1. Listen to MUSIC. "Kick out the jams and feel your bad mood melt away."

2. LAUGH or giggle. "Whatever it is that makes you giggle, get to it – STAT."

3. Take a DEEP BREATH. "Remember that time when you freaked out about something and someone smart (probably your mom) told you to "take a deep breath"? It was good advice."

4. KISS. "It replaces negative feelings with an intensely happy buzz that can help you (briefly) forget about work deadlines, the fight you had with your sister, or the missing muffler on your car."

5. Drink WATER. "It's a vicious cycle: You're stressed, so you forget to drink enough water, then being dehydrated causes you to become even more stressed."

haha. I think these are funny. Mostly because they are common sense. But maybe we kind of forget how happy each of them makes us.

Sooooo....Go turn on some good music, take a deep breath, and go in for the kiss. I'm sure you'll need some water after. And maybe wait to laugh after the kiss. Or during. Whatevs.

Happy Hump Day. 

I shred coupons for a good time.

I was sitting on the couch. Just minding my own business. And then I hear (insert paper ripping sound). My roommate had just ripped the Arctic Circle coupon in half!

Excuse me!?



To say the least, it turned into a coupon-shredding-dancing-yelling-stress-relieving-PARTY.

That's what normal people do, right? Shred coupons to relieve stress?

Here's to finals. And us losing our minds.

Finals Week. Feat. Court & Bai

This will be my last time listening to this song as a student. We've got this guys. Finals week is almost over. 

p.s. I've never slapped Sharwan's hand for luck before a test. Today, I will give Sharwan a little love. 

Thoughts at 3 AM.

How come you never seem to know you have cuts on your hands until after you put the hand sanitizer on?

I should never ever end a sentence with a preposition. And how many times can I say "you" in a sentence?

Tomorrow's to-do list keeps getting bigger and bigger while I lay in bed. There are 27 hours in a day on the 30th, right?

I miss my little brother like crazy. He's been the only one missing lately at family functions. Including graduation this weekend. Man he's the best. And I miss him.

My sunburn is starting to peel. Shoot. I'm going to look like a lizard with dandruff on graduation.

If I win money playing Bingo, do I need to pay tithing on it? Awkward.

Why is it 3 AM, and I am still awake?

I have major hiccups right now. Like the shake-your-whole-body-hiccups. So excuse me while I hold my breath, upside down, and swallow a glass of water.

For the first time in two years....

I am not going into work at 8 AM on a Monday morning.



Hallelujah.

What do you think of Thailand?

Tell me people, what do you think of Thailand?

Thailand is a serious consideration for Fall 2013. You all know I still have absolutely no plans, and graduation is in 6 days. So I'm thinking. Work summer job. Work another summer job. Maybe work a third summer job. And then travel, travel, travel come September. I think I would like to start in Thailand. And teach English. And get paid to teach English. cause ya know, it's a 'big deal' when you have a degree. Then go to the next country of choice. And repeat. 

Just until I know what I'm doing with my life. Ya know? 

Anyway, what do you think? Also, do you know of any good programs that would pay to teach? Because I really am serious about this one.

Introducing Dallan Wright: "Please don't ever grow up."

Have you ever wondered...Who is DW? Well today is your lucky day.

I've invited DW, also known as Dallan Wright, to be a guest on my blog. Listen up. Because here is what he has to say.

Today, it is my greatest pleasure to have the amazing opportunity to write for the wonderful Jenna as a part of her fantastic blog. I am Dallan Michael Wright. I am a son, brother, writer and friend to a few and it has been my delight to have grown close to Jenna over the past couple years. It brings sorrow to my soul to think that my charismatic friend, Jenna DeGering, will be graduating in a few short weeks. I know this time in an individual’s life can be very stressful and often over whelming as the reality begins to settle that they are “all grown up.”  

Now, I am not so ignorant to think that after graduating from University that growth ceases and we become stagnant. But, in the mind of a soon to be graduate, I can imagine that they feel like this is last big step in their development into adulthood. I want to express to Jenna and all the graduates this year or for years to come, that we should never feel “all grown up.” I am not referring to the Peter Pan version of the sentiment of never growing old, but instead I want to compel all those who read this to always keep your sense of innocence intact.  

Never forget the nights you stayed up till the sun began to light the sky again, just because you couldn’t tear your eyes away from a special friends’ loving gaze. Don’t be so quick to forget the magic in lying around in sweats all weekend just because you felt like you “deserved it.” Remember what it’s like to live off ramen or eat ice cream by the carton. Mentally freeze frame the excitement that came with finding out who was in your new classes and whether or not the one good looking guy or gal would sit next to you. And always stop late at night to go outside, lay on the grass and stare up at the stars, pondering the universe’s secrets.  

So to Jenna and all those moving on from your university experience… Graduate, but please don’t ever grow up.

 

> Less than moments.

> when you have to get a new phone for the second time in 10 days

> when you accidentally lock your bank account

> when Costco only takes American Express credit cards

> when you need $1.19 in cash and you have $1.00

> when someone walks off with your grad announcements

> when you live in Cedar and everything you need to do is in St. George

> today.


<<<<< when you have really really great friends.


Peace out Tuesday. I am done with you.

Binge Blogging.

To all of my loyal followers, all 20 of you,

I will be binge blogging for the next few days. I'm sorry. I know you wait diligently for my next blog post, but this might be too excessive. Please let me explain. I'm taking a class. A social media class. I need to have posted on this blog a certain number of times. 30 times.

I have 16 posts.

If you went to any kind of school in your lifetime, you know that I have 14 more posts to go. Within like...the next couple days. cue the music. dun.dun.dun.

Please find it in your heart to forgive my binge. And I mean...if you still have it in you to look at every post, it will help my grade. (insert puppy dog eyes, followed by a kissy face). I think you are all wonderful human beings. 

I'll make them good. Promise. Quality posts. 

And maybe I'll make every one cookies. Cause I make some dang good cookies. Loooots of butter in those bad boys. 

Anyway, love you all. 

Let the binging commence.


<3 Jayduh.  

Bryce. Arches. Cedar Breaks. Zion. FREE!!

Listen up people. This is important.


Starting today...it is FREE National Park Week. And in honor of free National Park Week, I am going to bombard you with a gazillion pictures in efforts to convince you to go. I don't bombard with picture often. So you know it's important. 

I live a pretty rad life. Now go get your free on at a National Park. Serious. Parking is free too. I'm even giving you permission to blow off that study session. Cause I can do that. Take your friends that you aren't going to see all summer, and take a break from studying.
Just go. Really.
Why are you still here?

Saturday. I love a Saturday.

I love me some weekend time.

• I'm playing soccer in 15 minutes
• My parents are coming in 4 hours
• Old roomie is here
• I get to try on pretty dresses
• My room will finally get cleaned
• Packing up all my crap...moving.
• TBird Awards!!!!!!
• The Thunderbird Ball (masquerade style!)

Yay.

Also...I slept until 9:00 AM! The best.

Hatred will not have the final word.

I woke up this morning at 4 am. I couldn't sleep. I didn't sleep. I think it's because my heart is heavy. And I kept having mini dreams that I was experiencing mourning for so many people. People that I didn't know. People I would never know. The police officer's wife. His little girl. The mother of the bomber. The sister of the missing college student. The man who lost both of his legs. The 12 families who are missing a loved one in Texas.

Tragedy. That word. Suffering. Grief. Sadness. Catastrophe. Loss. That word.

Why is it when tragedy hits so far away from home, I feel as if it is in my own backyard?

It happens so often, and I have such a hard time dealing with it. I don't really show or tell people all that much. I don't know why. I should. But I don't. I guess I disconnect myself with those emotions outside of my bedroom, because maybe, just maybe, if I don't show it, it won't happen to me.

I am 21 years old. I have lived for only twenty one years. And yet I feel as if I have seen so much tragedy in my young life. I remember the Unabomber, or at least talking about it. I was five. I was scared to go to school in second grade because of the Columbine Massacre. I cried for days after 9/11. And the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary left me numb. All of the events this week have left me numb again.

But I think I hit a turning point last night. My good friend Dallan invited me to watch a play on campus. The Women of Lockerbie, it is called. A tragedy written by Deborah Brevoort. The play is a historical dramatization of the aftermath of the Lockerbie bombing of 1988. A powerful dramatization.

I cried. I felt sorrow and pain. I briefly mourned for the fictional characters with a true story. I connected their story with the people suffering today. And instead of numb, I became responsive. The theme of the play is powerful.

“When evil comes into the world, it is the job of the witness to turn it to love.”

This is what I have thought about since 4 AM.

Choose love over hatred. Change hatred into love. I've witnessed so much tragedy in last 21 years. And it is my our responsibility to choose love over hatred. To help repair the damage and heal the broken hearts. To serve one another. To remember the lives of those who died. To find the strength to do what we must do. Of course I will never know what it feels like to lose someone I love so dearly in such a tragic way. I have never had to pick of the pieces of my life and start over. I want to make it clear that I don't equate my trials to such tragedy. They are different for me than they are for anyone. But let me also be clear that I have a responsibility to make sure that "hatred will not have the final word." As Olive Allison in the Women of Lockerbie made sure that hatred did not have the final word. Love is stronger than the bonds of hate and bitterness. And because I have witnessed the pain of other, even from across the country, I have a responsibility to love.

We all have our reasons to choose love over hatred.

I choose love over hatred because I know my Heavenly Father loves me and loves all of his children.  I choose love over hatred because the person next to me is my brother or my sister. I choose love over hatred because people take care of me when I am weak. I choose love over hatred because I have been blessed with a loving family, and they have taught me to choose love. I choose love over hatred because I am human, and I am connected with each human on this planet. I choose love over hatred because hatred will not have the final word.

Tragedy will always occur. But love will always abide. So in my therapeutic efforts to mourn for those who are dealing with that word, I ask you to love. To serve. To be kind to one another. To put forth any and every effort you can to make sure that hatred does not have the final word.

The to-do list of a graduate.

TO DO:

• Spend as much possible time with my people. 
• Make the snow melt. 
• Fly kites. And sidewalk chalk.
• Eat at all my favs in Cedar. 
• Make one more fort in my living room. 
• Tag the sheep tunnels.
• Make two batches of cookies and deliver happiness. 
• Stay up late every night.
• Get a killer dress for graduation.
• Finish 20 million homework assignments. 
• Passport. Passport. Passport! 
• Grad announcements & thanks yous. 
• Maybe like..get a job.  
• Eat Lunch.
• Walk under the Bell Tower.

And.........

• Graduate. 

14 days. 22 hours. 40 minutes people. 

dimes, peristalsis, $100, gravity, & Harry: random facts you'll never need to know.

Tonight my roommates and I stayed up late exploring the mysteries of life. These are the things we learned...

Dimes are the best piece of US currency. They are cute. "You can fit it in the palm of your hand perfectly. It's just in there." Because no other coins can do that. A dime is 10 cents. Even numbers are good numbers. They are thinner than any other coin. FDR is on the dime. AND in the Parent Trap, the girl brings in all dimes to play poker. Inspirational.


YOU CAN DRINK WATER UPSIDE DOWN! Peristalsis allows the body to drink while you are upside down. Yeah. Who knows what peristalsis is? I do! Suckas.  try it. oh. and it's only water. you can only drink water upside down. i'm lying. try milk or coke. still works the same. i think.


Benjamin Franklin is on the 100 dollar bill. He is the only individual on US currency that is NOT a president. But of course there is Sacagawea. She is on the one dollar gold coin. But who uses those? I'm talking about the currency we actually use.


Veins can defy gravity. You have veins in your legs. And those veins take blood to your heart. That means they go up. don't i sound so smart. Can you imagine your veins singing "I'm through accepting limits, 'cause someone says they're so." That's right gravity! What's up now?!
And Hillary Clinton has a problem with blood clots. But I think she will be okay.


This is a fact you really might need to know.
Hairy, as in my mole is hairy, is spelled H-A-I-R-Y. Not harry. That's Mr. Potter.

The Proposal.

I was just sitting in the Rotunda today, like any other Thursday, chatting with a friend.

And then I heard the music. I instantly looked toward the west and saw him coming up the stairs. All black suite. Handsome as ever. Rose in hand. My heart stopped. Was this really the moment?

Then I was lifted up, in my chair! And taken to the center of the Rotunda. Seconds seemed like forever as he grabbed 10 single roses, making his way toward me. He got down on one knee, handed me the elegant roses, and with the sweetest words recited, "Oh darling, I love you so much. Will you  marry me?"

Time froze....

What are you lines Jenna. What are your lines?! Oh yeah..."YES!" 

Of course I was supposed to say yes. What was a mock proposal PR stunt without the yes? 

The rest of the stunt went off quite well. We talked about how I don't have time to plan a wedding. He said there was a bridal showcase. We rode off into our decorated car with hearts all over it. Blah. Blah. Blah.  And the whole school thought for about 10 seconds that I was getting engaged.  

I would just like everyone to know that I am NOT engaged. Although we planned a stellar proposal (future Mr. take notes) and Ryan is a hunk, we're not getting married. But I am here to tell you that there is a 

Brides Unlimited Showcase from 2-6 PM in the Hunter Conference Center tomorrow 

sponsored by Power 91 and Wedding Decor & More.

And if you are in Cedar, you should definitely come. Because this was my first PR stunt for my first real PR campaign. I know you are going to say, "But Jenna, I'm not getting married." Or, "But Jenna, I've already been married." I don't care. I just got engaged. Fake engaged. So you can come and win some cool prizes. Married. Not married. Gonna get married. Brides Unlimited is the place to be. 

And I know you are all dying to see my proposal. So I will post a video shortly.

And remember. Jenna is still single.  

My People.

Remember that pity post yesterday? And I asked to bring on the love. Well I'm definitely feeling loved. This is why.

my people. 

The kin. Let me tell you, I have the best family ever. FaceTime, texts, surprise visits, bribes to get me to live next to them. They are constantly telling me they love me. And I'm not just talking about the sibs. I have pretty rad parents. I told my mom I wanted to backpack Europe for a month, and she was way excited for me! My dad will just randomly put money in my account when he has no idea I'm on my last $10 for the month. They have this amazing ability to support me in any capacity. So my family is like aca-awesome. And don't even get me started about how adorable my nieces and nephews are. I could go on for pages.

The besties. Marci and Sara have been my best friends since I was two. 2 That's a long time. They know me better than anyone, I dare say. The great thing about them, they aren't going away. Even if they wanted to. They're like oxygen to my flame. hahahahaha CHEESY! And they WILL be wearing those embarrassing bridesmaid dresses on my special day. Muah!


The teamies. aka Roomies. Don't judge us because we have a cool handshake, talk about how much we love SUU every day, and practice saying all of the US Presidents in order. I also only send the ugliest of snapchats to them. That's true friendship. Annnnd....we all have nicknames. Multiple. I've also been through 75% of my college career with Whitto and Bai. Solid. Right?


The games crew. I play games with these fools...like every night. Till 2 am. I wasn't really a 2 am kinda gal until they introduced me to kemps. And not only do I play games every night with them, but they've adopted me into their little family. Like they came and watched me play intramural soccer in negative one billion degree weather. Intramural. They're the bees knees. Oh. And I've only really known them for about two weeks. Can you ask for cooler people? No. No you can't.

The peers champions. Peers sounds so...academic. And yes, I met them all while I was at school, but they're not just my peers. They are champions. Champions of being awesome people in my life. Some of them are graduated, graduating with me, and others are gonna be at SUU for some time. But it's everything they have said to me the last four years that have really kept me going while I've been at SUU. They remind me to make lemons when life hands me lemonade. i love modern family.

The professors. My professors are the bomb dot com. Specifically Ellen and Matt. sorry not sorry about the first name basis. They have made my academic college experience outstanding! Hats off to their incredible ability and efforts. They are remarkable human beings.


So pretty much the basis of this post?

I am surrounded by so many people who are cheering for me to succeed. And that is more than I could have ever asked for.

I'm going to say that you do as well. There are so many people who love you and want the best for you. One of my friends said this yesterday after I posted about joining the circus:

"Life if forcing itself at us, and we have nothing else to hold on to other than each other. And we will hold strong."

Yeah. Hold strong people. Take a moment to see how many individuals are actually cheering you on. It's overwhelmingly powerful. And it truly helped me today. So thanks to

my people.

p.s. it's hump day! half way to the weekend.

Maybe I'll Join the Circus.

23 days. 12 hours. 50 minutes.
I am a college graduate in 23 days, 12 hours, and 50 minutes.
COLLEGE freaking GRAD! Awesome right? Yeah, way awesome.

Except for the fact that I have 1,000,000 zero plans come 23 days, 12 hours, and 50 minutes. If you ask anyone I've talked to in the past week, they will tell you that I am freaking out. I mean, I've always been the girl with a plan. And a stellar plan, if I might add.

And now nothing. Nada. Zipadeedooda zilch. Panic mode. Can you tell? But...this blog post isn't just about me freaking out. It's about a break through.

Let me rewind a little bit. I've always known that I'm going to be okay. I know that I'm not going to whither or instantaneously combust because I don't have a plan right now. There are worse things that I could be dealing with, and I am grateful to live such a wonderful life. I'm okay. I do know that.

I think the reason I'm in this baby ridiculous panic mode is because it feels like everyone else and their pet hedgehog, Dexter, has a plan.

I have the same conversation every day.
Insanely nice person, "Oh, Jenna! You're graduating! That's exciting. What are you going to do next?"
Me (wearing my sassy pants), "I DON'T KNOW!!!!!! Join a convent, or the circus. Travel to Antarctica."

Okay, maybe I don't entirely yell at them in caps lock. And I'm never serious about any of those options. But it seriously is the same everyday. I. Do. Not. Know. efff. 

Here is the breakthrough portion. Today I stumbled upon a blog called The Unlost, and I found a post entitled, "Why It's OK to be Lost and Confused." Man did it come at the right time! This girl, Therese is brilliant. She wrote about how it's okay to not have it all figured out. In fact, more than okay. Which I think I know, but coming from a complete stranger, who doesn't know me, was real.

And when I say real, I mean like John Mayer talent real. Not like Taylor Swift..."real."

The jist of her story: 1. same sitch   2. realized it was OK   3. went and did remarkable things anyways.
So...breakthrough. Ask me what I'm doing after graduation. Really ask me. I still don't know.

But my reply this time (without the sassy pants), "I have no idea. But whatever it is, it's going to be remarkable!"


And if you have any suggestions on what remarkable might be for me, I am taking them openly. Bring on the love.

Ragnasty.

There are exactly 78 days until I WRECK IT at the Wasatch Back. Or it wrecks me.

Almost two years ago, I ran Ragnar: Wasatch Back with my incredible family. It was an amazing physical, mental, and spiritual experience. I thought I was somewhat ready and trained to run this monster, but in reality I only finished because I was carried across the finish line by a few running angels and my family.

Come June 20th, I will be running through the beautiful terrain of the Wasatch Back. Again.

I've never been more excited to run 20 plus miles, get 5-7 blisters on my feet, get 5 hours of sleep in 2 days, and be unable to walk for 2 weeks after. I am STOKED! i really am though.

Running isn't my best physical activity. My sisters are waay good at it. Not so much me.

But don't be fooled. I really am excited. Mainly because I get to spend an incredible time with the most amazing people. And Ragnar is an amazing experience in and of itself.

Anyway, I should have started hard core training like a century ago, but just in the last week has it become super serious. So send the prayers my way. Cause I'm about to get RAGNASTY.

i have the best family ever. really i do. GO TEAM MAKING MEMORIES!